Making small talk with someone you’ve just met can be terrifying. Common sense tells us we need to convince the other person that we’re smart, so we casually drop our job title, education and accomplishments. But it turns out this is exactly the wrong approach.While writing my new book, “NEXT! The Power of Reinvention in Life and Work,” I interviewed scores of people who pivoted in their careers, all of whom had to develop new contacts to make their move. Then I spoke to social psychologists about how to make those connections most effectively. I found that the answer is a lot simpler than you think: ask for advice.Seeking advice actually makes you look smarterIn a series of studies, Harvard and Wharton researchers asked students to solve brain teasers with a partner.Some were told they would be judged solely on the accuracy of their answers. Others were told they would be judged according to how good of an impression they made on their partner.The students were given three options for communicating with their partner:Saying, “Hey, can you give me any advice?”Saying, “Hey, I hope you did well.”Saying nothing at all.Unsurprisingly, students rated on their accuracy eagerly asked for advice. But those
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Here's the No. 1 way to sound smarter when making small talk, say Harvard and Wharton …
