I don’t know why I write. I don’t know why I do anything, and it’s honestly one of my favorite things about myself. Other than my legs. And my necklace collection. And the pink wigs I put on my Sonos. Oh, and my ability to be single for 40 years and then get into my first long-term relationship with literally the man I was always supposed to be with. I’m a skeptic, but when I was 23, I asked a clairaudient named Patricia about this guy, Trey, I was infatuated with, who she told me was going to be a lawyer (spoiler alert: he is now a lawyer in Connecticut), and she told me not to “worry too much about dating now. You’ll find the person you’re looking for but not until later. You have more living to do first.” At the time, I was pissed and vowed to prove Patricia wrong, so I started a Tumblr (yes, it was the halcyon days of the early-2010s internet) where I was determined to document the 100 dates I would go on. My best friend, Lauren Wilkinson—yes, that Lauren Wilkinson, of American Spy fame (sidebar: Lauren was the person who told me
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