So apparently I owe my family connection to a 20-something’s algorithm now. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Gather ’round, friends, I have a delightful little parable about the tech overlords we’ve so cheerfully handed our lives to. Some months back — and I genuinely don’t know when, because naturally no one tells you — Facebook decided my account had committed some unspecified sin against the community, and poof: four decades of family photos, my grandkids, old friends I’ve known most of my eighty-three years, all of it, gone behind a wall. No explanation. No email. Just the digital equivalent of a bouncer silently pointing at the door. I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason. I’m sure a very serious Trust & Safety algorithm, trained by a team of extremely earnest twenty-somethings in Menlo Park, looked at my occasionally cranky political commentary and concluded: yep, threat detected, this man’s a menace. Really keeping the platform safe out there, champs. So naturally, I did what any reasonable person does: I tried to appeal. And here’s my favorite part, the bit where the whole charade reveals itself as pure theater — to appeal, you have to log in. To the account. That’s disabled. Which
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